[TALKING/WRITING] I was writing a quick note to someone about our editorial plan and started to type, “You skipped 9/12/26.”

Then I stopped.

Yes, the date had been omitted. But did I really need to point a finger at the person who missed it? My goal wasn’t to assign blame. I simply wanted to bring attention to the omission so it could be fixed.

So I changed the sentence to: “9/12/26 was skipped.”

Same information. Very different feeling. It’s a small communication habit that can make a big difference.

When something goes wrong, we often automatically write, “You forgot …,” “You didn’t …,” or “You missed …” Even when we don’t intend criticism, the word “you” can make the message feel personal and put someone on the defensive.

The trick is to shift the sentence from what the person did wrong to what needs attention.

  • Instead of: “You forgot to attach the report.”
  • Better: “The report wasn’t attached. Could you send it?”

 

  • Instead of: “You didn’t include the meeting time.”
  • Better: “The meeting time isn’t included yet. Let’s add it.”

 

  • Instead of: “You missed the September 12 date.”
  • Better: “September 12 is missing from the schedule.”

Before giving a correction, ask yourself: Do I need to identify who made the mistake, or do I simply need it fixed?

Whenever possible, correct the problem without correcting the person.