[COMMUNICATE] Today’s powerful sentence reveals much needed information and perspective whenever you use it. No matter what someone says to you, making a simple reply (such as “thank you” or “Hmmm”) and then asking: What makes you say that can change the whole direction of the conversation.

BE sure to ask it before you start to give your real answer or make a comment. If you do this, it can result in a whole new understanding of what your colleague had in mind.

If it’s a contentious situation, asking, “What makes you say that?” can add some clarity or it can bring to the surface the underlying issue.

If it’s a suggestion made in a project discussion, asking, “What makes you say that?” may reveal a concern or an alternative perspective.

If it’s a situation where you’ve just received a compliment, asking, “What makes you say that?” will result in your hearing something you did not expect … and which will make the nice comment even more meaningful

The Secret to Getting a Great Response

OK, just rebounding with, “What makes you say that?” has a certain art to it because you don’t want to come across as challenging or difficult.

The secret is to acknowledge the person’s statement first in a non-committal way. That way they know you heard them and are ready to listen.

For example, when someone says something, you reply with…

  • “OK … what makes you say that?”
  • “Yes … what makes you say that?”
  • “Interesting … what makes you say that?”
  • “Hmm … what makes you say that?”

And second, say in a light-hearted, oh-by-the-way-manner, “What makes you say that?”

Try using this technique just for fun to see what happens. Maybe challenge yourself to use it three times in one day. That ought to plant the idea firmly in your communications resource bucket!